This is a topic that has been brought to my attention lately. It seems that people are so quick to become offended, find fault, and then carry around other’s shortcomings with them. Then they want to share their personal grievance with others which in turn skews others view on that person, even if they didn’t have a problem with them in the first place.
Something that I have learned, and to practice it is not easy, is forgiveness. It doesn’t mean that you agree with or condone others behaviour, or that you continue to put yourself in harms way to spare others feelings. Forgiveness is about letting go, taking your power back, and freeing yourself emotionally. It’s about accepting where that person is at and letting go of resentment. When we put time and effort towards a negative event or wrong that someone has done to us, it takes away that time and energy that we can be focused on ourselves or something more constructive. We end up giving our power away to that person, when they aren’t even around, and probably not caring, or sometimes not even realizing what they have done.
As we become more aware of ourselves and our path on this planet, we always ask for guidance and help for the things that we are trying to achieve in life, whether its materially, emotionally, socially..you get it. Situations are always put in our way for us to learn about ourselves and others. Sometimes that comes in not so comfortable situations, and confrontations with others. Let me give the example of someone who really drives you nuts. They are smiley and happy, and always see everything with a sprinkling of glitter. If you find that that is rubbing you the wrong way, usually what bothers us about someone else, is something that reflects something in our life or about us that we dont’ like, or don’t want to acknowledge. Really think about it. Maybe we need to be more positive ourselves, or their way too happy relationship reminds us that ours is not and we need to do some soul searching ourselves.
Changing our perception of people and why people do things will help us to be more understanding, and leave the onus on them to be responsible for their behaviour. When we have someone rant in our face, or behind our back about how they don’t like what we’re wearing or we’re too skinny or fat, or that we are too prudish or loose, this really tells us about themselves. Maybe they’re unhappy with their relationship or sex life so putting yours down makes them feel better. If they call you loose, maybe they subconsciously wish that they were a little more liberal. Maybe that perfect little family bugs you because yours is in need of some repair.
People point fingers at others because it’s easier to blame someone else than to be real and take responsibility for your own stuff. Everyone does it, whether you want to consciously want to admit it or not.
The trouble with this is that it makes life so much harder. If you are constantly blaming others, distracting yourself with others faults, or playing the victim game , it wastes a lot of brain space, and you just keep feeling miserable or victimized. When we let go of resentment, and forgive someone, we take our power back, and put the responsibility where it should be. Sometimes these incidences come as a message to us. We always need to step back, resolve conflict or misunderstandings if possible, and let things go. Look at the underlying message that is being presented to us. If we are constantly being picked on, maybe this is a message that we need to have better boundaries and better self worth. People will only treat us as badly, and as good as we allow them. Maybe it’s teaching us to have more empathy for others, since we all have bad days and are striking out because of our own pain. Responding with words of kindness is maybe all that person needs to turn their day, or situation around. Always remember that what we focus our attention and intent on, is what we in turn manifest to ourselves. Be patient and kind, for we are all imperfect, and at different places in our journey here.