Jealousy is a secondary emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, sadness, resentment and disgust. It is not to be confused with envy. This definition is brought to you by Wikipedia.
Being human, we are all subject to feelings of jealousy here and there, but my quest today is to help us to break free of the damaging effects this can have on our well being as well as others. When we are consumed with comparing ourselves to others, whether is is materially, emotionally, or sexually, it constantly reinforces feelings of inadequacy and lack within ourselves. The anger and resentment that stir within us causes stress which lowers your immune system, over works our cardio vascular system and produces chemicals in our body that cause damage and weight gain.
Lets discuss the topic of lack. When we look externally and want to be like others or envy what others have or how they are we produce an overtone of lack within ourselves. We are constantly disatisfied with our life, our partner, our job, our friends. Nothing is good enough and we want it like so and so has it. This is very self destructive thinking that only produces more of the same. And also gives others and “in” to our disatisfied, ugly self. Everyone wants that beautiful house, the high paying job, and the hot sexy spouse, but having a jealous, envious attitude will never bring you more than a bigger pit of emtiness to fill. Take the oportunity to stop and think about what you want. do you think that these things will make you eternally happy in life? The truth is these things might make life more enjoyable but you will never be truly happy until you accept yourself and love yourself for who you are. Flaws and all. Only then you will be able to be truly happy and will really enjoy all the blessings in our life. Big and small.
Women are famous for being jealous, then they lash out in hate and fear to remove the “treat” to themself and their happiness. I’ve always found this very demeaning and destructive. As women we strive for success, freedom of expression, and acceptance, but the moment that someone achieves that we find fault, tear them down and label them as a bitch or slut. Very hypocritical if you ask me.
What is also sad is that the target of one’s jealousy and hate usually is unaware of the effect they are having on that person. They are just busy living their own life and doing the best to be themself.
When we get those twinges of jealousy, step back and peel away the layers of emotion to find the hidden reason for our feelings. Doing this takes practice and humility for none of us like to look at ourselves honestly. Exposing our inadequacies to ourselves is hard but an important part of owning our lives, embracing and excepting ourselves, and opening the creative door to evolve .
Does someones free spiritedness bring out the judgemental prude in you? Step back and look at yourself. Do you have conditioned hangups from childhood? Do you feel self conscious and have inner shame issues that need to be addressed? Use this emotional triggers to uncover your issues and heal and love yourself instead of judging and blaming others for your feelings of jealousy.
How about the way someone expresses themselves sexually? Do you disapprove of the way they dress or act? Does someone seem too comfortable with themself or just too flirty? Is there sexual preference causing you to feel funny? Maybe you’re comparing your partner to someone else’s , which opens a whole other topic of discussion on misplaced fantasy and dillusion. Many of us have lack issues when it comes to our sexualily. Most religions paint sex as being bad and therefore we have that “taboo” thinking engrained in our subconscious. We are sexual beings, and being proud to be a woman includes embacing your powerful sexual feminine side. If our jealousy is being triggered by someone elses sexuality maybe you need to explore your hang ups or scale of judgement. Usually what bothers you about someone else is a message to yourself that you need to heal that aspect of yourself.
Did someone get that awesome promotion and you are just seething with disapproval and envy? Tear back the emotional veil and see why. Does their success make you feel inadequate? Mabe if you dealt with some self esteem issues you would have the confidence to be a go getter. Or be more resorcefull with your spending so you can afford to school and upgrade or re-qualify yourself for a better position.
Accepting the way that others express themselves and celebrating diversity gives us the freedom to grow and evolve as a society and within ourselves. We consciously break free from the limiting bonds of oppression that have been put upon us until now. Supporting one another despite our differences in carreers, fashion tastes, lifestyles and preferences, makes life interesting and colourful. It empowers us to accept ourselves, flaws and all and celebrate our human existance. When we become a slave to jealousy and anger or revenge, it inhibits our ability for clear thinking, clouds our aura, and prevents us from having healthy relationships with others.
This is a very important and powerful time in human existance. Now is the time to open our hearts with love and embrace our strength inside ourself and others. We are all unique and special. Embracing and expressing our individual style and way of life brings fun and spice to our existance. Appreciate your unique style and always appreciate what you have and where you are at in life. We are all on different paths and learning different things in life. No one path is right or wrong. Only your perception makes it that way.
Let’s all promote femine evolution and stand by and support each other through our triumphs and heartbreaks. Take responsibility to make your world a loving respectful place and in turn share that philosophy with others.