So lately I’ve been having some issues come up with both my kids. This is so very normal because if they were perfect and did everything I said I’m sure they would be really good con artists or I would be floating around in the denial boat! Lol!
I work with a lot of fabulous gals and we talk alot about our kids. It seems (and thank god!) that we all have the same complaints, our kids all go through the same phases and do the same stupid things. For
instance, my daughter is 247 bitchy with a touch of nasty. It seems like every one’s daughter is on that same bitchy planet. My daughter also thinks that she’s entitled and everyone should read her mind and that she’s beyond harm. Also normal it seems due to similar stories. My son goes through anger and trust issues every so often. That’s normal also since his dad took off four years ago and is vacationing on dead beat island.
My daughter sees a fabulous (and more real than Dr. Phil) doctor for her ADD. Her name is Dr. Jaco and she’s now working out of the Children’s Regional Center. I love going because she usually has the same advice for Mikaela that I give her and she hates it! She’s shockingly real and straight forward and doesn’t sugar coat anything. Thankfully even though my gal is stubborn and bitchy, she has amazing common sense and will usually make good decisions when it comes to her well being….so far. Her advice to me though had me stuck in a teen vortex of reality TV. “She needs to be on the pill, she rules your house and you need to get that back, and she loves to piss you off and you need to be stricter and more consistent, and she has drank more than one time even if she says she hasn’t, and you and your boyfriend have been together for three years now. Are you getting married? Is this a stable relationship for your kids who have abandonment issues!?” OMG And help me holy baby Jesus!! And she gave me a pamphlet for a parenting class on teens for us to take. Well, I took my sassy ass teen home, crying all the way. What have I done? This is all my fault, single momness is sooo hard, and I’m tired and inconsistent and REALLY…the pill…at 14!? Mikaela doesn’t even have a boyfriend. And what about MY boyfriend? What’s going on with that!? We’re stable and awesome but where’s it going? How do my kids view this?
OMG so much stuff and I’m on overload and crying like a baby.
So…what did I do? I cried tears all day. It was one of those days I think I needed to cleanse emotionally and thank god I didn’t have to leave the house. I looked like a washed out shrew. I talked to Andre…or should I say dramatically vented my worries and thoughts on the subject, mostly negative and with an underlining gleam of desperate failure as a mother and teacher. I am doomed and my only safety net is a parenting class.
Yes…I’m dramatic. But my sweetie knows me and he whipped out his magic logic stick and stuck it to me. (not that magic stick!) I’m a great mom and my kids love me. I’m always willing to seek help for them and myself with problems and situations I don’t have enough knowledge in. I’ve gone to positive parenting classes before with Win Harwood when Mikaela was little and really enjoyed them. I met some awesome people, and got more than valuable knowledge. Her classes are like gold and she still teaches them. I’m very open minded and easy to talk to and have helped my kids through many a stressful time in their lives…and his list went on…he’s so great. And we talked about the moving in and we’re heading towards that.
|So here is what I did. I made an appointment for Mikaela at the Teen Health Center. She might not need it now but the door will be open and this appointment will be good for both of us…I hope. lol! I signed up for the PPP class for teens. Andre is going with me which is awesome because he’s never had kids and is hopping on board the parenting train. We’ve been to two classes so far and they’re great! The teachers are wonderful and there are lots of parents in the class who have similar to much worse issues to work through. Working in a group is great for support and sharing. I love listening to others experiences and getting insite and ideas from them. Some I can relate to and some make me realize how good a parent I already am. This week we got booklets and sheets for tracking behaviors and situations. We also had to really look at ourselves and see what we could change to get a better response from our teens.|
I’m really excited about this class. I know that I will be able to brush up on my good points and change
some tactics that are just not working…for anyone. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in the teen journey and we all need help. My kids know we are taking this class and we talk about it with them. I’m such a holistictherapy mom that Mikaela just rolls her eyes and says “oh ..godd!” with a smile on her face because she knows that I try my best, and Andre does too. We’re taking this because we love them and want to make sure that we contribute to their future in a positive way and teach them life skills that will carry them to a successful future. They also know the days of the soppy mom are ending and a more consistent and guilt free one is emerging. Not so fun for them, but better for everyone now and in the long run.
So all you parents of teens out there, there’s so much help and information out there for any situation you might find yourself or your kids in. These days it’s hard being a teen. From bullying, sex, parties, drinking, drugs, addiction,
abuse and safety, it’s a scary world that they don’t know how to handle yet. As a parent being in denial, or pretending it’s “just a phase” could be dangerous for your kids and yourself. Be involved and get educated on teen life these days. Let your kids know you’re knowledgeable on the latest and oldest trends and open a discussion. Make your home a safe zone for them. Be open about sex, drugs, and the dangers that lurk around the corner, or with the friends they keep. We are all going to make mistakes as parents, and our children will make mistakes too. Will we teach them how to learn from those mistakes and take responsibility for their actions, or bail them out, enabling them to a life of irresponsibility and entitlement? I want the responsible, successful kids, so we will continue to do our best, and hope for the best!