Growing up in an alcoholic abusive home, I often felt alone. At night if I was scared, no one came. When I made a mistake, I was criticized. When it came to expressing myself, this was a definite no. The control issues and problems of the alcoholic always come first, and everyone runs around enabling to keep the peace.
One thing that I figured out at a very early age, was that I could talk to God. If no one was going to listen, God always did. God always answered my prayers, and I always felt safer and happier after I talked to him. As I grew older, and I had issues with anger and depression as a teen, I always asked God for guidance. Although I made a ton of mistakes, he always answered my prayers and I got answers. For instance, when I decided that I needed help and had no idea where to start, I went to the local bookstore at the mall. I asked God what book I needed. I spent a while going through the self-help section, selected a few books and just held them. Then I picked one. Turns out that it was always what I needed, at that time. That trip to the bookstore, at age 18, I chose John Bradshaw’s Homecoming. That was the beginning of my healing journey, and starting with my inner child was difficult, but a solid start to deep healing that works.
My close relationship with God throughout my younger years, was really the only way I could exercise my intuitive abilities in a safe way. I was also raised in a cult of a religion. Everything was bad, everyone was a sinner, and any form of spirituality other that that religion was satanic. It took years later on in life to finally allow myself to explore other spiritual avenues that I was brainwashed as satanic.
As I peeled of the conditioning layer by layer, I learned a lot about my abilities, and also found out during my divorce that my children were very psychic and needed help and guidance with their skills. This opened me even more, and I continued to learn and grow in the area of spirituality.
Through all of the hard times I have gone through, having a relationship with God, and eventually my guides and angels, and knowing that I am connected to everyone in spirit has been my saving grace. Even now when I feel alone, I get quiet, clear my energy, and raise it to connect with all my like minded friends and family. These are my spiritual family. Even when they are not around, they are in spirit and collective thinking. Now, this time alone, is more valuable to me than having people around all the time for reassurance.
Always know that you are not the only one who is going through a rough time. Someone else is going through something else, not the same, but similar. When you are struggling with anything, a loss, an obstacle, addiction, know that there is always help available if you really want it. There are many groups, organizations, and people who you can go to if you chose to make a change and need support, need medical help, or therapy. We are very fortunate to live at a time where we have resources readily available to us if we reach out for help.